My beliefs, experiences and views are clearly at odds with what you choose to believe, and I respect that. I believe that a lot of good can come from people sharing their varying experiences with each other. Have you ever wondered why it is that people who study the same material can come to dramatically different views about it?
Case in point:
I have intently studied both sides of "Mormonism" for about 20 years and have come to know for myself that this church is indeed true, and that it is led by revelation at every level by the Savior Jesus Christ through caring, honest, loving, humble and dedicated disciples who seek the glory of God and the blessing of their neighbor ahead of self. I have chosen to have faith in what is taught by this church, its scripture, and its prophets as those things have been confirmed to me through deeply personal and distinct impressions from the Holy Ghost to my heart in direct response to detailed study, patient pondering, and sincere prayer.
You have "examined Mormonism" as well and from your posts it seems clear that you have chosen to have faith in what you have come across in "well cited books," "non-LDS scholars," and "the internet."
I can't tell you what you and should not believe, but I can offer you some advice. Simply put: spiritual things are learned by the Spirit.
"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.
For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world (remember what I said about Pharaoh?), but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.
Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.
But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
(1 Corinthians 2:9 - 14)
Furthermore, the Savior taught: “If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17).
And this from the Savior's brother James, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
(James 1:5 - 6)
Do you see the pattern that God has given us for learning spiritual things?
Sometimes people can get sidetracked by trying to determine the truth of spiritual things by subjecting them to tests that were never designed for spiritual things. Debating spiritual things using only temporal evidence and methods doesn’t settle the issues, and yet this seems to be how you have chosen to explore questions about the gospel and the Church. If scientists tried to prove their hypotheses without following the scientific method, they would have no credibility. It is just as strange to think of people trying to prove or disprove spiritual things without following the pattern well established in scripture for learning spiritual things.
I guess that you will need to really ask yourself how well your method of truth seeking has served you. Where has it landed you? Have you found "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) as I have?
If not, I enthusiastically recommend that you go about your quest for light and truth using a completely different method. A method that relies a whole lot more on the words of God, deep pondering and heart-felt prayer, and a whole lot less on "well cited books", scholars and Google.
Happy hunting Brother! I'll be praying for you.
:-)
